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* 3? 3* 




HOUGH we may not have a /'white Xmas" this year, 
it is to be hoped that we shall not :have a Blueleben. 

ONE time-honoured Xmas function, at any rate, shows no 

signs of disappearing. The "waits" are still with us. 

* * 

POPULAR dish for our jeunesse doree — jugged heir. 

* * 


THERE are Still a few vacant spaces in Ruhleben i available 
for pedestrians. Particulars may be obtained from the 

Secretary of the Horticultural Society. 

* * 

WHERE one man serves too many stand and wait. 

* * 

"BACK to the land" is Ruhleben's /most popular political 
movement. All that it requires to complete its success 

is a little more movement back to the land. 

* * 


TRAVEL in haste — repent in Lager. 

* * 

MOTTO for the treasurer of the A. and S. U. 

* * 


THE classification of parcels from England has progressed as 
far as the letter D. By the time Z is reached recipients 

may expect to get a square meal. 

* * 


WE have received "At Home" cards from Messrs. Kaufmann 

and Armstrong. 

* * 


A chilly but stoveless cubby-holer has written us on the 
subject of his woes. Certainly it js no time for" dilli- 

LATEST sensation for prisoners of war. The Jamieson Raid 

on parcels. j • . 

ONE touch of naturalisation makes the whole world kin. 

"Last Christmas" — hear 
The old men say — 
. "We had good cheer, 
"Last Christmas here; — 
"And then next year 
"We'll be away — 
"Last Christmas here!" 
The old men say. 



HWtBKgfl M fcfe^OPS at+K ^aK^B W fcfcg-^ta^W 


AlA^ouuj+x ccue. «c*looTTxe. C utpUL "bctxik . 

To -tease, -us atifch. Kla TTeccid'xej^e-cL sKcxrbs pf 

j^'WeJcL r-cx±H*ur* sej&»VxL6 cjuc^vej- fnULL , 
M ArudL Hove KLttl loeLp wcs eccu-xdL the arcooL 
I Oi- pccck \-cp acrceefcs cuacL CLxun-cJCJoti bix*xs, 
" Tc>f- oXL ou> Loi^eXy ejcAXecL onues ; 

ArxcL, IjcodLcn^oL xtdida au cpoocLLy poucJU., J 
„ 'We Love *fco serxdL Txun lo-cLS^i-rxg- bcucJk , 9 
TlR> Dober-tiz. . 



Ju-ly 10 16 




RppaetK^a 1 vst aa^4ta^g« Hw^H3K^« sk tt^napg« 

77z£ postcard here illustrated was sent by Miss. N. Hall, of 
Sunderland, in reply to the Dbberitz card, which was sold here some 
time back and is familiar to most of us. 


<•*«•»**' x-flMBBM^^^BB 


^V - .. "NOTES. ' 

DURING the term which has just come to an end the 
Nautical department of the Camp School seems to have 
had a busy time. Shortly before the term began, news came 
from home that after January 1918, the Board of Trade propose 
to make some changes in their examinations. With the aid 
of capable and willing volunteers new classes were formed to 
meet these changes, and each one who applied was 

Quite lately a letter has arrived from the Board of Trade 
saying that a committee has been formed, with Mr. Alfred 
T. Davies as Chairman. The object of this committee is to 
supply seamen and fishermen interned abroad, with books 
that they may need for studying any subjects dealt with in 
their examinations. A little booklet explaining the aims of 
the movement has already reached the Camp. Each booklet 
has attached to it an application form, and all that any 
navigator (past, present or future) engineer, or fisherman 
will need to do, is simply to fill in particulars, and say what 
books he wants, and the books will be sent him free of 
charge and become his own property. All they ask him 
to do is to make good use of them, and the list of book's 
is fairly comprehensive. No doubt the offer will be greatly 
appreciated, and let us hope the system will come into working 
order with the shortest possible delay. 

"M. E. A." 

Another year has passed, and we are still interned. 
Sometimes one feels that the word "interred" might {to 
borrow a phrase from the local talking shop), "be justifiable". 
Many af the Marine Engineers of the Camp are making good 
use of their time, and are settled down to some useful work. 
To the younger members of the profession the chances hero 
are splendid, and should not be neglected. It is rumoured, by 
the way, that no engineer from Ruhleben may expect to 

■. :.v ■-'■. ■ 


.obtain a berth after the war, unless he has fully mastered 
the Differential and Integral Calculus. Of course, we know the 
yalue of Ruhleben rumour's! During the last few months we 
have had the doubtful pleasure of welcoming several of our 
Members to Ruhleben, who had been caught on the high seas. 
However their sojourn with us was very brief. Whilst sorry 
to lose them, we wish them luck in their new quarters .... 
Some ironical persons have been unkind enough to say that 
a refrigerating Engineer-in-charge is hardly the man from 
whom to expect much warmth! -However, we' anticipate for him, 
poor man, many a hot time with his charges. Ere this is 
published, we hope that the exchange of the forty-fivers will 
have materialised. We wish them all bon voyage. Our Xmas 
wish is that we have not to pass another here, and that those 
who believe in the magical number of three will have a 
chance to say there is something in superstition; let us 
hope so. 

A Correspondent writes : — "As you have repeatedly asked 
for contributions to the Nautical Notes column, I thought, 
being an old shell -back, yon would accept this letter and 
grant me space to deal with our present circumstances, in 
a Mark Tapley manner. As I presume your next number will 
be a Christmas one, I hope my brother "salts" will extend 
to me that good fellowship which is supposed to be extended 
to all men at this time, and if my opinions clash with theirs, 
I beg to apologise. "Greetings every one". 

During our internment here, we seafarers (or to put it 
more correctly, we prisoners who have a dim and hazy 
recollection which is getting more hazy every day, that we once 
upon a time, were seafarers) have heard a lot from shore 
people about the general drawbacks of a seafaring life; but 
whether a seaman can sing with the policemen in the "Pirates 
of Penzance", that a sailor's life is not a happy one, is 
still a matter of opinion, but at any rate it is a varied one* 
At! a recent meeting of the local talking society, there was a 
discussion concerning the merits and demerits of life ashore 
as compared with life afloat. We who go down to the sea in 
ships have now had two years of life ashore, and as a 
sample we don't like it, and I think we would vote unanimously 
for life afloat as being infinitely preferable. Christmas in 
the past has found some of us in strange places and thrilling 
situations — thrilling in retrospect, though perhaps dull at 
the time of experience, — but most of us would feel inclined 
to snap at any opportunity to change our circumstances jfor 
others, where, whatever^ the end was, rfcame quickly and definitely. 


Now although there is a saying amongst us that a sailor, 
after "shuffling off this mortal coil", turns into an albatross, 
fishermen into sea-gulls, .and coloured seamen into crows, 
we have no wish to test the truth of that saying for some 
time yet; so let us turn to the light side of our circumstances, 
and see if the two years here have taught us anything. Well, 
in the first place, two years ago many of us older ones 
believed we could not possibly live without the sea. We 
are still growling away. Many of the younger ones who 
reviewed a Board of Trade exam, with terror, are now, in 
their own opinion, qualified for Extra Master, and Extra Chiefs. 
There is a glorious uncertainty about our wages, but we 
have done ourselves no harm in building castles on the 
probabilities. Such of us who have spent the time in "walking 
exercise" will agree we never had so many "nights in" in 
our life before, and our general health is not bad. We have 
made the best of circumstances, as we always do. 

The salt "tang" has proved its power once more to enable 
the sons of the sea to rise to the occasion. 

A Merry Christmas to all! 




MS*SRErM^*M<3ff| r^fSt 

J 1 




Produced, with great labour, in a Cubby-hole, and appearing now for 
the first (and last) time in print. 




iDramarta Personam 


P. T. O., etc. 
CRANKI-POO (in love with someone or other) 
NHO-GHO (Chief of the Ruhleben Police) 
HOO-RA (an optimist, bless hint) 
HO-HE-TOW |-:>/. , , 
HIK-HEK-HOK J ( students > 
O'BOTHER (an Irish bo'sun) 
TUT-TUT V ■-, ■■:... . 
PHLOT-SAM J (satlors) 
TANND-STICKA (a bright spark) 
TUM-TUM (distant connection of Little Mary) 



[two beautiful damsels, unfortunately unable to be present) 







Public performances permitted but not recommended. — Lyrics may be 

used (at singer's risk) at penny readings, bun-worries, on wet Sundays, 

and on all occasions when nothing better offers. 

Encores allowed but not expected. 

NOTE BY EDITOR.— In order to obviate any possibility of a 
misunderstanding, we are requested to state that none of the characters 
in the 'Mikado' burlesque appearing in this number has any connection 
whatever with anybody in the Camp. The characters are entirely 






ACT 1. 
SCENE:— Trafalgar Square, about 450 miles from Charing 
Cross. English prisoners standing in attitudes suggestive of doing 


If you want to know who we are, 

We're Englishmen everyone, 

Assembled from ever so far, 

From everywhere under the sun. 
We live in severe restraint, 
We're Britishers queer and quaint, 
You're wrong if you think we ain't ! 

We live on the parcels and things 

That everyone of us gets, 

And food that would captivate kings, 

Our delicate appetite whets. 

And if you imagine this throng 

Can't keep it up all day long, 

We beg to assure you you're wrong! 

MAK. Gentlemen, at last I (have some news — real news — 
to give you! (terrific sensation). A stranger has arrived in our 
midst! (signs to CRANK.) Advance, young man, and explain 
your presence here. 

CRANK. With pleasure! 


Sullivan's entrancing music, 

Gilbert's charming lyric art 

I have come, dear friends, to give you, — 

Authorised by D'Oyly Carte! 

- - - - r " ■ i ! '■■ ' 

MAK. That's good my boy. Shake! (shakes). 

NHO. You have not come to give lectures then? 

CRANK. Certainly not! 

ALL (loud cheers). 

MAK. In that case I bid you welcome. I hope you will 
consider yourself one of us. — 

CRANK. Which one? 

MAK. And make yourself quite ,at home. 

CRANK. It's really awfully good and kind of you, but alas! 
I shall never know what it is to be happy again! (sighs). I lam 
a most unfortunate man! 

TUT. You ain't the only one! 

MAK. Dear, dear, I istfm sorry to hear that. What is your 

CRANK (tragically). I am in love! 

ALL. Hurrah ! ( 

NHO. Then you have come to the wrong place, young man. 
In Lhagerpu, I am thankful to say, there are no women what- 
ever. We — er — don't admit them! 


ALL (very faintly). Of course not! 

CRANK (clasping his hands). Is that true, gentlemen? 

ALL. It is! 

CRANK. Then how on earth do you get on ? 

TUT. We don't get pn; we stop here! 

ALL (still more faintly). Ha-ha! 

NHO. But so long as you don't break the rules you will 
be all right. 

CRANK. And what are the rules? 

NHO (who has not the slightest idea). Ah, that's my business! 
But I warn iyou, our Camp police force is remarkably efficient! 

TUT. It's remarkable, anyhow. 

CRANK (surveying NHO with some surprise). Excuse me, 
but are you a policeman? 

NHO. I am, young man, and though I say it myself, I am 
a credit to the force! 


A Camp policemari I, ' j 
My many skilful catches 
Of Lagerites in batches, 
Undoubtedly testify; 
All those intending wrong 
By me are apprehended, 
Their dark careers are ended, 
They cannot escape me long. 

, ; . i ■■ '» ■ k 

Are you in penitential mood ? 

I'll sigh with you, 

And share your sorrow; 

But if on some dark deed you brood, 

Defer it, pray, until to-morrow! 

Reflect upon your course, 

Ere retributive force 

Adds penance and remorse 

To sorrow, sorrow! 

(the very moderate applause having subsided R and L). And 
now I .must be going, or I shall be late for my morning rubber, 
(exit in direction of bond Street). 

HOO. He always sings that little ditty to newcomers; it 
cheers them up. 

TUT. But he's not as terrible as he looks,. 

CRANK. I am glad to hear that. 

MAK. We think a lot of our police here. 

TUT. I don't think! (loud and derisive laughter). 

CRANK. And how do you spend your time here? It must 
be very dull. , 

MAK. By no means. At seven we turn out for the Line 
Up — a Ipiost diverting little ceremony; after which we separate 
for breakfast — tor bed, as the case may be. Those of us who 
are still sleepy finish their slumbers in the dormitory — Barrack 6, 
top floor. Then we have a variety of old English games, such as 
baseball, lacrosse and pelota. The infirm play golf; the young 
and athletic look on at football matches and shout "off side!" 
at frequent intervals. 

CRANK. Just the same as in England, What? 

MAK. Precisely. Midday brings dinner, — assorted delicacies 


fresh from the tin, and underdone home-made tart, washed down 
with lemonade. 

CRANK. Why underdone tart? 

MAK. Ask the cook-house people. I suppose they know. 
To resume; in the afternoon we recuperate; when convalescence 
is fully established we go on the field and play at dodging- golf 
balls; after which comes supper, followed by bed at nine. 

CRANK. It must be an ideal life. 

TUT. It isn't real life anyhow. 

CRANK. And do you all get on well together? 

MAK. Ahem! as a rule — yes; that is to say, so-so. Of 
course, you know, in an assembly of this magnitude, there are 
a few persons whose presence is at times, sh'aflll I say a wee bit 
annoying? But — que voulez vous ? Which reminds me that 
I have a little ballad which bears upon the point and will 
(make my meaning plainer, (to conductor of orchestra) Let her 
rip! (conductor lets her rip, with following result). 

As some day it may happen that a captive must be found, 
Pve got a little list — I've got a little list 

Of some interned persons who might well be homeward bound. 
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed. 
There's the early rising maniac who gets up in the dark 
And who thinks that shouting "Firebell!" is a pleasant kind 

of lark ; 
All persons who lare pessimists and preach eternal woe; 
And the man Vho never fails to say, "Of coursej, I told you so!" 
And all irritating persons who on kicking balls insist, — 
They'd none of 'em be missed, — they'd none of 'em be missed. 

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list, 
And they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be 
( missed. 

There's the swollen-headed mummer, he's an aggravated case, 
And the rag-time soloist — I've got him on the list; 
And the person who, when lining up, secures the foremost place, 
They never would be missed — they never would be missed! 
There's the idiot who in your bed conceals the Barrack cat; 
And the man who gives you nightmare with the latest Abend Blatt, 
There's the canteen man who tells. you that the things you want 

are "out", 
And that all life's little comforts you will have to do without; 
There are many other persons who might well be on the list 
Of the nuisances in Lager life who never would be missed, — 
I've got them' on the List — they never would be missed ! 

(During the progress of Mak's song a number of prominent 
but unpopular persons have left the stage ; those who remain 
applaud without enthusiasm). ( 

MAK (briskly). And inow, Mr. Poo, the best thing I can do 
is to introduce you — forgive these rhymes, they are quite 
unintentional — to some of our jmost important personages, (a 
number of people Ipress forward ; Mak. makes a selection and 
presents them to Crank.) "The Secretary of the Ruhleben Society 
for the Encouragement of Foreign Travel" (Crank and the Sec- 
retary bow) ; "The Chairman of the Ruhleben Tautological Circle," 

— "The President of the Society of Ruhleben Platitudinarians", 

— "The Chief Warden of the Hibernators" — (and so on: the 
presentation of notabilities, pi whom there are a vast number, 
is proceeding when Crank, who has suddenly caught sight of 
Tum-Tum utters a loud cry). 

MAK. What on earth is the matter? 

CRANK (gazing at Turn, who is engaged in conversation 
with two chorus youths). 'Tis she! The vision of my dream! 

TUT. "Vision ?" Rats ! That's one of them theatre guys ! 

TUM (advancing, in great indignation). How dare you use 
this language! (sobs, shrieks, and shows signs of having an 
attack of stage hysterics). 

MAK. Avaunt, churl! 

TUT. Right-o! (avaunts to wine shop). 

CRANK. Are you really my own loved one, or am I the 
victim of some dreadful trick of the imagination? (general and 
loud laughter) Speak ! 

TUM. You silly man ! oh, you silly, silly man ! I'm not a 
g!rl (giggles). 

CRANK. Then what in the name of all that is wonderful are 
you ? 

TUM (aside). My cue at last! (to Crank) Listen! (Orchestra, 
knowing what is coming, strikes tup without further resistance). 


Since warlike days 

Require in plays 

A girl impersonator; 

Of female parts 

With girlish arts, 

I am the imitator: 

And though a iman 

With limbs that tan 

Has rendered coar;e and ruddy, 

Of Jessie Bond 

— That charming iblondo , — 

I aim the [understudy ! 

On female beauty fair 

The public doat, 

And that is why I wear 

A petticoat! 

My likeness to 

The sex we woo 

Is c ertainly surprising ; 

Bjut I ;am faint, — 

Beneath this paint, 

The pangs are agonizing ! 

This scanty stuff 

Is not enough 

(So many inches lacking) ; 

I'm out of breath, 

I'm squeezed to death 

I feel my inside cracking! 

Although a maiden coy 

I must confess, 

The thing I most enjoy 

Is to undress! 


'•■■■■'..■■ ■"•,. •* 



(At ^conclusion of song TUM ogles Crank in j j^r best stage 

manner, to a running accompaniment of compliments and offers 
of scent, cigarettes, etc.) 

TUM. I am in rather good form to-day. 

CRANK. But think of the blow to me!. I lam broken hearted! 
I thought for the moment you were she. (looking closely at 
TUM). But on second thoughts she is not in the. least like 
you ! (shudders) 

TUM. I dare say not; our styles are a bit different, what? 

CRANK. Chalk and cheese are twins in comparison (shudders 

TUM. If you like we can walk about together and read 
one another's letters, and talk rot, and all that sort of thing. 
(CRANK shakes his head). Oh, very well, it's your loss, I'm sure. 

NHO (who has entered unobserved). I am afraid, young 
man, you are not accustomed to Ruhleben society yet; but I warn 
you it is no use being exclusive here. In Concentration Camps, 
remember, extremes meet. For instance, I know a donkey-man 
who shares his tinned salmon with a minor poet. . . . Yes, we'ire 
all very good friends here; except those men who happen to 
occupy the same box. They are never on speaking terms! 

CRANK. This is terrible! 

MAK. Not a bit, 'my boy! You'll soon shake down like 
the rest of its. 

TRIO.— MAK. NHO. and HOO. 

You had best forget 

Rules of etiquette; 

Vain indeed are manners 

Circumstances so abnormal 
Make us all forget 
Rules of etiquette! 

Here's a how-de-do! 
Fancy meeting you ! 
In f a Camp of Concentration 
Men of every rank and 

Burst upon the view — 
Fancy meeting you! 

Here are grave and gay, 
In this vast array, 
Composite and variegated, 
Everyone of us is fated 
To await the day, 
When we go away! 



MAK. There now; what do you think of that, my boy? 

CRANK. Top hole! I feel myself one of you already. 

MAK. ) f Good ! 

NHO. \ (together). { Just the thing! 

HOO. J [ Bravo! 

CRANK. So much so, that I aim sure you won't mind my 
asking you a small favour? 

MAK (somewhat uneasily). Within reason, yes. 

HOO I ( t0 S e ther) 1 Within reason, yes. 

CRANK. Can you oblige me with ten marks ? Merely as a 
loan, of course. (MAK. NHO and HOO. hurriedly confer). 

MAK. My friends here are of the opinion that yours 
is a icase {for the Relief Committee. 

NHO. You will find them such kind gentlemen. 
HOO. And they will consider your case on its merits. 
NHO. If there are any! 

MAK. But I warn you that anything you 'may say will be 
taken down and used as evidence against you! 

CRANK. I am much obliged to you for your advice. But 
in the meantime tell me, how would you recommend me to 
occupy my mind here ? 

MAK. What an extraordinary question ! 

NHO. Your mind ! Don't worry about that, my dear young 

HOO. Just stop here long enough and you won't have any! 

CRANK. But what ami I to do? 

MAK. You might become a Barrack Captain. 

CRANK. No, no; it's 'mental exercise I 'want. 

NHO. Hum! that's awkward Well, there's always the 

news, you know. , 

CRANK. I thought that you didn't get any news here. 

NHO. Strictly speaking, that is so. If you refer to news, 
in the ordinary sense of the word, — cables, telegrams, foreign 
reports, railway accidents, - "society" weddings, fires, swagger 
murders, divorce cases, interviews with actors, and all that sort 
of thing, why! I must confess there is a dearth. 

HOO. But what does (that matter? 

NHO. Not the least bit! 

MAK. WE don't want news ! (to crowd). Do we ? 

ALL. Certainly not! 

CRANK. This is very peculiar! 

MAK. The fact is we have discovered a most excellent 
substitute for news. 

CRANK. And what is that? 


CRANK. I am afraid I don't quite follow. 

NHO. Of course you don't; but with the assistance of my 
friend here (indicating HOO). I will explain matters. 

HOO. With pleasure! The Chief of Police and I take oppo- 
site views on the subject, but it makes a charming little duet all 
the same. 



DUET.— NHO and HOO. 

HOO. The rumours I [hear in the spring, Tra-la! 
Inspire me with rapture and glee; 
I merrily dance and I sing, Tra-la! 
Such vast consolation they bring, Tra-la! 
I almost imagine I'm free! 
All dismal foreboding far from me I fling, 
Induced by the rumours that bloom in the spring. 

Tra-la-la-la-la-Ia, etc. 

NHO. The rumours that bloom in the spring, Tra-la! 
Appear to me very inane; 

In spite of ;the hope that they bring, Tra-la! 
I've heard them again and again, Tra-la! 
Until I aim nearly insane ! 

And that's what I mean when I say that a thing 
Is lacking in truth, like the rumours of spring; 
A fig for all rumours, they're nothing but stumers, 
That always appear in the spring! 

Tra-Ia-la-la-la-la, etc. 

NHO. Not bad, eh? 

CRANK. I like the song well enough, but your part of it 
is somewhat depressing. Couldn't you alter the words a little? 

NHO. Certainly not! I make a practice of depressing all 
foolishly cheerful persons .whenever I get an opportunity. I regard 
it as a duty. 

TUT. Then the sooner you go off duty the better! 

MAK. My sentiments entirely! (exit NHO. indignantly). 

TUM (approaching Crank). I think you said you were in 
love? It must be awfully interesting. Do tell me all about it. 

CRANK. Not for worlds ; the subject is a sacred one. 

TUM. Pooh ! nothing is sacred here. We all know one another 
too well for that. 

CRANK. Imagine the most beautiful female you have ever 
seen on a packet of cigarettes, multiply that by ten, throw in 
Venus and Cleopatra, and you will have a faint, very faint idea 
of my fiancee's charms. 

TUM. That's nothing! Wait till you have seen me as Juliet! 

CRANK. Thank you, I would sooner be excused. iBut, 
seriously, I aim 1 'very much afraid that if I am kept here much 
longer? I shall pine away and die. 

HOO. What a confounded nuisance! 

TUM. Poor thing! What a romantic death! 

TUT. Rats! 

CRANK. Are you not aware of the fact that people have been 
known to die of disappointed hope? 

TUM. Rather! There was a case here, a little time ago; 
a very sad business. Would you like to hear about it? 
CRANK (getting handkerchief ready). I should love to! 



By the door of the cook-house I [heard a young man 

Sing "Water, hot water, hot water!" 
As he stood in the queue with a new billy-can, 

Singing "Water, hot water, hot waterl" 
In the biting cold wind, and the drizzle that fell, 
He had waited his turn since the early appel, 
At the door of the place where I'm told that they sell 

"Hot water, hot water, hot water!" 

Intent on refreshment he stood in that queue, 

Crying "Water, hot water, hot water!" 
For tea is a herb that you first have to brew 

In "Water, hot water, hot water!" 
A fact so well known I need not dwell upon, 
To the* savoury herb that is grown in Ceylon, 
You must first of all add, as a sine qua non, 
"Hot water, hot water, hot water!" 

Now that young man is dead, we shall hear him no more 

Crying "Water, hot water, hot water!" 
His death so untimely I deeply deplore; — 

"Hot water, hot water, hot water!" 
In the spring time of life he was taken away, 
And his youth, while in flower, fell into decay. 
But the last words on earth that his friends heard him sav 
Were "Water, hot water, hot water!" 

CRANK (wringing handkerchief). Thank you so much. That 
is one of the jolliest songs I have ever heard. . . But I still feel 
depressed somehow; are there no amusements here? Pierrots, 
or anything of that kind? 

MAK (seizing the opportunity). Amusements? I believe you! 
Life here is a constant round of intoxicating revelry and joy! 

ALL. "There was a cow!" etc. 

CRANK. What on earth do they mean? 

MAK. Don't take any notice of them; it's only their nonsense. 
Listen to me. 






CRANK (seeing no hope for it). Another song? Very well 

There is heaps of entertainment in the Camp, 
You can laugh until you're weary if you choose; 
If you're feeling melancholic 
Come and join jn some mad frolic 
That is guaranteed to drive away the blues ; 
Come and join us in our revels. 
And you'll chase away the devils 
That attack a [man when he is in the 'blues'. 

If that is so, 

Its evident very 

Expedients merry 

Should now be tried ; , 

Away we'll go 

With derry down derry 

The problem is very 

Much simplified! 

In the Cinema diversion you will find, 
Though it seldom is amusing, I admit ; 
We've a treasure journalistic 
In the "Daily Daily" mystic, 
That will exercise your analytic wit. 
And if politics depress you 
You can try the A. and S.U. — 
And that always is amusing, you'll admit! 
If that is so, etc. 

If mental acquisition is your aim, 
The opportunities are quite immense, 
In the stately Y.M.C.A. 
There's reported now to be a 
Vast emporium of books of reference ; 
You have only got to choose 'em 
And with energy peruse 'em, 

And you'll gain a fund of knowledge quite immense ! 
If that is so, etc. _____ 


A So 



It you're feeling heavy-hearted, try a course 
Of foreign languages, and you will find, 
When you've learned to say "By Jingo!" 
In the Scandinavian lingo, 
That it has a gay effect upon the mind; 
While the cheerfulness . ensuing 
On a course of parlez-vous-ing. 
Is a never failing pleasure, you will find! 
If that is so, etc. 

CRANK. Well, really, I must say it seems a fairly com- 
prehensive programme. I had no idea there was so much to 
do here. 

MAK. I expect you thought that prisoners spend their time 
gazing through barbed wire, or taming spiders, or carving ships 
out of bones, or scratching the multiplication table on a threepenny 
bit ; and all that sort of thing, eh ? 

CRANK. I must admit I — 

NHO. My dear sir, that has all been done away with ; 
it only exists in the pages of popular magazines. We are much 
more up to date. 

CRANK. But are you always as gay and cheerful as you 
.seem to be now? (everybody looks at everybody else: there 
is a long silence). 

MAK. Well, no; we have our dark moments, of course; 
but we don't allow ourselves to be depressed. 

HOO. We don't allow it! 


Disgusted player. — "I've been at it for two solid hours and haven't got 

out yet!" 
Friend. — 'That's nothing! I've been trying for two years!" 



ALL. And we never will! 

HOO. Never! (the prisoners all shake hands, clap one 
another on the back, exchange cigarettes, and are becoming 
wildly hilarious, when the rapid pealing of a bell is heard). 

ALL (as though this had never happened before). Fire bell! 
Line up! Fire ibell! Line up! (ad lib.) 

MAK. Before we separate, gentlemen, we will sing our last 
chorus, (to conductor of orchestra). It's really the very last 
time! (orchestra strikes up) \ 


NHO. We must shut up the show for the day, 

ALL. Hooray ! 

NHO. They're ringing the bell and 

There'll be an appel and 

You'll all of you have to line up, 
ALL. Line up! 
TUT. So hurry, or you will be late. 

The evening appel is at eight. 
ALL. At eight! 
MAK. This jollification 
. And representation 

Of Japanese manners so gay, 
ALL. So gay! 

MAK. Is a treat that must come to an end. 
HO and NHO. We're prisoners, of course, like you 
Interned here in Lhagerpu; 
But one bright thought keeps us alive, 
Some day we'll all be forty-five! 
ALL. This argument 

Of song and dance, 

With your consent 

We now advance; 

Although, of course, we're all like you, 

Inhabitants of Lhagerpu! 



"The one insertion had such extraordinary results that I shall 
not need another." 

"Am retiring from business, in consequence of your advertise- 

"I have something urgent to tell you! What is the best time to 
find you in?" — Many others! 









■■■.'■• ^ ■■'•'.. : ■ 



THOSE concerned with the recent production of "Everyman" 
in the Y. M. C. A. Hall desire to express their warm 
appreciation of the generous action of Mr. Ernest B. Florence, 
Master (of t'he Worshipful Company of Haberdashers of the City 
of London. At the request of a Freeman of the Company, on 
behalf of Ruhleben, for means to support the presentation 
of the play here, and in other Prisoners' Camps, Mr. Florence 
provided at once the amount suggested. This ready gift, 
resulting in united activity for us, serves also to recall the 
conditions under which Morality Plays were originally presented 
in England, when Town Guilds supported and took part in 
their performance at special seasons of the Church's Year. 






^.fJAoMy /4^tJfr-rpir 



ROLLED QftTS. ere, 




. ■ - 






(By our Special Commissioner.) 

AT this festive season of the year the Bond Street shops 
are veritable treasure houses of . splendour, thronged by 
eager crowds of excited and clamorous patrons, whose demands 
tax the energies of the ever attentive and courteous 
assistants. Mr. Mudie-Mussett's book shop is, as always, the 
Mecca of book lovers, and his stock of rare and curious books 
is varied to suit the tastes of all. The votary of Pitman will 
find here a selection of works of absorbing interest: while 
the student of Double Entry and Commercial .Spanish has 
but to choose from the enormous collection of dainty brochures 
which deal with these absorbing topics. Particularly charming 
gift books are "Glue for Beginners", "The Concrete Lover's 
Companion", and "The Plasterer's Annual". These and other 
volumes of a similar character will, without doubt, keep 
their lucky possessors from the bridge and draughts table 
for a long time to come, i 

We cannot deal fully, in the small space at our disposal, 
with the countless attractions of the Inanout Store, — Ruh- 
leben's leviathan emporium of luxury, and , rendezvous of 
wealth. (Suffice it to say that every imaginable want of the 
Lager's most exacting patrons is here anticipated. Dish cloths, 
brown paper, boot protectors, blacking brushes, lead pencils, 
tin -openers, drawing pins, and hob nails — nothing has been 
forgotten which can render Yule Tide & season of old-world 
conviviality and happiness. Our readers must visit this palatial 
store (worthy of a Whiteley or Super-Harrod), and judge for 
themselves. ' 

Fastidious purchasers whose shoe cupboards require 
attention must not fail to look in at the Bond Street Booteries, 
where the walker's requirements are amply catered for. The 
stock of clogs which bewilders the eye is a revelation in 
practical yet dainty footwear; while the laces and polish 
(both brown and black) have a distinctive note which is 
all their own. 


For the thirsty Xmas shopper a cosy Lounge has been 
fitted up where refreshments for the inner man may be 
obtained in the most comfortable surroundings. The choicest 
products of the celebrated firm of Eyre Sats may here be 
enjoyed, and the doings of the day discussed over a social 
potass or soda. 




ufluflyflyUUnuflLBuUuflfluufluulMDuUUufl uuttj 

IT was snowing hard, as hard as it only can snow in an 
Xmas story. 

Alone in the tragic silence of the deserted Camp, a 
dim figure lay motionless at the foot of. the Loft stairs, 
clutching to its bosom a something soft and warm, swathed 
in a ragged covering. Only now and again a spasmodic quiver 
went through the outstretched form. 

Ah, me! how cold it was! 

Suddenly the loft door opened, and the brilliant glare 
of the one candlepower lamp sent a ray of light through the 
Stygian darkness of the dimly lit compound, which changed into 
a ray of hope as it found its way to the poor wretch's 
heart: (at least, I think it did). 

"It's snowing"', said a voice, and the door closed. 

The bottom step had disappeared beneath the soft deposit 
of glistening polygonal crystals, the refracted rays from the 
different facets of which (trade journals in need of Xmas 
colouring, please copy) scintillated like the humour of a well 
known Camp comedian. 

The figure, now up to the waist in cool, clear snow, sent 
up to the heavens and the people in the Loft a hoarse, pulsating 
moan, sad as a steamer's syren. 

Again the Loft door opened ; three dark forms were 
silhouetted against a crowd of eager faces. 

'"Did you hear anything?'' asked the first. 

''I heard the owlth thcream and the cricketh cry", said 
the second, obviously an English literature student, that is, 
of course, a student of English literature. 

The third form clutched the others by the arm. "Look!" 
he hissed, and in his emotion his slim fingers pierced their 
flesh to the very bone. "Look!" And still holding them fast, 
he pointed to the fallen figure, now almost hidden in the snow. 

There was a short sharp scuffle, a scene of indescribable 
confusion, and the three were in the snow at the side of the 
motionless figure. 

For a moment there was silence as they picked themselves 
up and arranged their partings, glaring at each other the while. 
Then the first, having corduroy trousers on, knelt down in 
the snow. 

'What is the matter?" he asked tenderly. 

"What ith it? Haf you lotht anythink?" lisped the second. 

The third started back. "Look!" he cried once more. 
"Look!" It was evidently a favourite expression of his. All 

three watched in dismay as the form moved, exposing to their 
eyes the features o f their old lost friend, from whom they 
had had no word since he had left them how many, many 
weary hours ago to fetch the pudding. And now he had 
returned ; but how ? 

Eagerly they questioned him as to where he had been, 
as they tore that ragged bundle from his grip. 

"It's Bill's fault 1" he gasped. "Wait till I — !" 

"Bill!" they queried aghast, interrupting his threats of 

"Yes", came the vicious hissing retort. "He made that 

d readful pudding so heavy, I slipped trying to carry 

it upstairs, and sprained my ankle. Wait till I 1" 

But the remainder o f the sentence was lost in the soft 
patter of the snow. T. G. 


<y ~&J*t /V»hk> . 


DC < 
O < H 



, hi 

3 I 


■ • 





IT is not possible in the space at our disposal to discuss .in 
detail the plays which have been produced during .the last 
twelve months. Of these productions, some remain in the memory 
as successes of the first water; we are probably expressing 
the general view in naming "Twelfth Night", "Creditors", and 
"The Pirates of Penzance" in this category. In Ruhleben farce, 
drama and comedy follow one another in quick succession and 
are as quickly forgotten by most of us. If we may speak 
candidly this is only to be expected; for the merits of most of 
these productions do not justify more than a fleeting popularity. 
Where so many plays' are given it is inevitable that a good many 
mediocre pieces should be found. 

We are aware that it is invidious to mention names, but a 
word of praise is due to Messrs. T. W. Wilson, R. L. Brown, 
H. Goodhind and F. E. West on their general good work. Messrs. 
C. A. King, W. L. Coller, C. J. Pearce and many others have also 
appeared at different times with great and well deserved success. 
Incidentally nearly all our actors are rather apt to lower their 
voices too much and too frequently, with the result that the pit 
misses many of the best points and jokes. 

As to the character of the plays produced, our own opinion 
is that there has been too great a predominance of farces. 
We do not, of course, expect the theatre to be run on Manchester 
Repertory lines, but a larger infusion of serious plays would, 
we know, be welcomed by many. Of these we have had too few, 
and the view held by those who think that nothing but farce 
or light comedy is wanted here is not shared by everybody. 
Concerts, for instance, are not amusing, nor are football matches ; 
yet both are well patronised. Humorous books are far from being 
the only variety in demand at the Fiction Library. 

The A. and S. U. produces plays of a more ambitious type. 
Unfortunately, with its limited resources, this body sometimes fails 
to realise its ideals; but at any rate it has, ideals, and pursues 
them in the face of many obstacles, with which it has to contend. 

The question of the stage itself and the scenery also calls 
for a few words. Do we not all remember the Moorish table, 
the high-backed black chairs and the staircase going up to the 
right, which have appeared so often? Will anyone ever forget 
them? It is obviously out of the question to put on new and 
elaborate settings every week, with the funds at the disposal of 
those concerned. But knowing as they do that the same furniture 
and scenery have to be used again and again, they should surely 

realise also that these indispensable features should be simple 
and unobtrusive, and should be designed rather with the object 
of escaping than of attracting the eye of the audience. 

It must not be supposed that we are entirely without talent 
of a lighter order. The variety artists in the Camp have given 
shows which have amused many people, and we hope to see 
them again before long. THALIA. 

A correspondent writes:— "Why do some of our producers 
show such little discrimination in staging their plays and dressing 
their casts? We surely have not quite forgotten how people 
dress in England ? Yet the gentlemen who select the dresses allow 
aristocratic characters to appear upon the stage clothed after 
the style of a suburban greengrocer on a Bank Holiday. It is 
the same with the female parts; costumes which would be suitable 
enough at a night club or in a musical comedy chorus are 
considered appropriate for a Mayfair drawing room " 

"7 A. M." 





e curfew tolls the knell of 
ting day" 

"Let not Ambition nock their useful toll" 

"TV applause of list'nlng 
senates to command 

i i : "Each in his narrow 
!cell for ever laid, 
The rude Forefathers 
of the hamlet sleep." 

"—at morn shall rouse them 
from their lowly bed" 


"L«ft - <" < 
Nor cast one longing", 
ling' ring look behind" 








GEORGE Scrooge clambered into his bunk in a particularly 
bad temper. Not that one can blame a man for having 
a fit of the blues in Ruhleben ,pnce in a while, but this was 
Christmas Eve, and nobody ought to be ill-humoured {on 
Christmas Eve, no matter where he is ! Of course Scrooge was 
convinced that there never had been such tiresome fools 
as his box mates, and his box mates were as equally convinced 
that Scrooge had taken too much rations for supper; but 
however that may be, Scrooge crawled under the blankets, 
swore at everybody in general, and pulled the curtain across 
the bed. 

Now it is -important to note that 'fact, because when 
Scrooge woke up an hour later, the curtain was drawn 
back. "Extremely annoying!" He was now in a worse temper 
than ever, so he stuck his head out in order to be rude, 
when he noticed — the mjoon was 'shining through the 
window — that the two Figures seated at the table were 
no box mates of his. This of course rather took him aback, 
and he wasn't rude in the way he meant to be. "W-who the 
deuce are you?" he spluttered. One of the Figures rose up 
— it was a merry fellow ,in a bottle brown coat, with a cigar 
and a packet of toffee in its hand, and it gazed at Scrooge 
with a watery leer. "Keep your pecker up" it carolled; "I 
am the ghost of your first Ruhleben Xmas!" Scrooge gaped, 
when the second figure approached the bed, breathing weak 
tea — and — rum on to his face. "And I am the ghost 
of your second Ruhleben Xmas", it wheezed. "I am a gay 
dog, I am — see!" — and it danced up and down the box 
shouting boisterously. "Oh cut it out!" said Scrooge, and 
pulling the curtain he turned over and went' to sleep. But 
not for long. He woke up feeling very cold and miserable, 
and saw that the curtain was again drawn back. 

This time the box was full of shapes — grey melancholy 
spectres that fixed him with weary eyes. "Go awayl" he 
said, as firmly as he could. The spectres did not move. 

A little shiver ran down Scrooge's spine, and he tried 
again more pleasantly. "Don't let me keep you if you wish 
to be off, you know". 

Still the spectres did not move. 

Scrooge felt distinctly uncomfortable, and the worst of 
it was, he began to doubt whether >he hadn't, perhaps.... 
after all ... and the doubt became a certainty, and slipping 
his feet into a pair of iclogs, he tried to whistle. 

The spectres did not move as he passed out of the box, 
but the corridor too, was full of sad grey shapes. 



"This is worse than/ I supposed", muttered Scrooge, and 
he hurried outside. 

More spectres — they thronged the yard, they filled the 
square from the Casino to ,the Captains' office, they were 
gathered on the Grand Stands ; they blocked the Promenade 
— from one end of the Camp to the other, there was no 
escaping them. 

Then Scrooge's nerve forsook him. 

"Who are all ye?" he shrieked. A wail arose from all 
the shadowy forms, a wail so plaintive and sinister that 
Scrooge's very heart stood still. "We are the Ghosts of the 
Ruhleben Xmases yet to come!" 

In the morning four men carried Scrooge to the Lazaret. 
. G. H. M. 


No. I. Mr. H. EGREMONT. 

aa tg 3MH a g 






AFTER a break of several 
months — during which 
t time, in spiteof every discourage- 
ment wtrch the weather could 
offer, Mr. Peebles-Conn succeeded in carrying through a popular and much- 
appreciated series of open-air concerts — the Sunday evening concerts 
of the above Society were resumed on September 17th, on which occa- 
sion a miscellaneous programme of Choral and operatic selections was 
provided by Mr. F. Ch. ADLER. Two unfamiliar works figured 
in the scheme, in the shape of Berlioz' Choral Song "Helena", 
and Schumann's "The Luck of Edenhall" : but it cannot be said 
that either of these works proved in the least interesting or 
effective. For sheer feebleness Berlioz' piece would be hard to 
beat, while as for "The Luck of Edenhall" one can only describe 
it as Schumann at his worst — which is saying a good deal. 
Other more popular numbers in this programme proved more 
effective, and gave much satisfaction to the overflowing audience. 
After "The Luck of Edenhall" it was a pleasure and relief to be 
able to enjoy an example of Schumann at his best — to wit, 
the characteristic and extremely beautiful Pianoforte Concerto. 
The performance of this work by Mr. Lindsay and the orchestra, 
under the direction of Mr. E. L. BAINTON, was of real artistic 
worth. Mr. Lindsay Was in great form, and the orchestra, rising 
nobly to the occasion, played the by no means easy accompaniment 
surprisingly well. Other excellent performances at this concert 
were those of Mendelssohn's "Midsummer Night's Dream" Over- 
ture and Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik". The vocalist on 
this occasion was Mr. F. W. Hughesdon, who sang Henschel's 
"Young Dietrich" and Charles Wood's "Ethiopia saluting the 
colours" to an orchestral accompaniment specially written for 
the occasion by Mr. Quentin Morvaren. Mr. Morvaren's orchestration 
displays imagination and a good sense of tone-colour — if at 
the same time inclined to thickness and unnecessary elaboration 
— and it is to he regretted that the orchestra did but scant 
justice to his work. A special word of praise is due to Mr. 
Dearie for the pleasant tone and good taste with which he 
rendered the Clarinet solo-passages in the Schumann Concerto. 
Mr. WEBER presented a programme of superior light-music, 
dignified by the addition of Mozart's Pianoforte Concerto in 
D minor. While a high standard of excellence distinguished the 
work of the orchestra throughout the evening, it was , in Saint- 

Saens' "Danse macabre" and the "Fledermaus" overture that 
the best results were achieved, the latter work in particular being 
given with splendid elan and enthusiasm. The solo . part in the 
Concerto was played by Mr. Bainton, whose very fine technique 
is better suited to pianoforte writing of a more modern character, 
the vigour and robustness of his playing scarcely compensating 
for what was lost in the way of delicacy. 

Massenet's Suite, "Scenes Alsatiennes", which formed the 
principal number in the programme of the concert conducted by 
Mr. LEYLAND COSSART, has its full share of those qualities 
of superficiality and oversweetness which are so characteristic of 
its composer- but, with its bright dance-rhythms and picturesque 
orchestration it makes very agreeable hearing. An effective and 
spirited performance was secured, and the work found much 
favour with the audience. Mendelssohn's Overture "The fair Me- 
lusina" is bii,t a dull affair at the best of times, and the ineffective 
arrangement of the piece used on this occasion served only to 
accentuate its inherent weakness. Messrs. Gordon Short and Henry 
Bros'e gave a neat, if somewhat perfunctory performance of 
the solo parts in Mozart's Concerto for two pianofortes, and 
Mr. Jablonowski's magnificent voice was heard to great advantage 
in a song from Tschaikowsky's "Eugene Oniegin". It is only 
possible to notice a few of the more interesting features of the 
other concerts. The concert in which Messrs. Keel, Lindsay and 
Ludlow joined forces proved the most popular musical entertain- 
ment which has been given in Ruhleben. The programme, con- 
sisting as it did for the most ipart of well-known pieces, calls 
for little comment — although mention should be made of some 
charming Breton folk-songs which Mr. Keel brought forward from 
his seemingly inexhaustible collection. The most interesting feature 
of the Chamber Concert arranged by Mr. Gordon Short was the 
performance of Rachmaninoff's Suite for two pianofortes. While 
there is nothing very distinctive about the first two movements, 
the composer, in the "Valse de Concert", has given us an original 
and brilliant piece of work, which was exce'lently played — as, 
indeed, was the whole Suite — by the eoncertgiver and Mr. Cossart. 
Mr. Jablonowski's singing of airs by Mozart and Verdi bore 
eloquent testimony to the steady progress of his artistic develop- 
ment, and the Concert was brought to a close by a finished and 
attractive performance of Schutt's Suite for Violin and Pianoforte, 
in which' jMr. Short was joined by Mr. Leslie Harris. Finally, a very 
hearty word of thanks to Mr. Pauer for conceiving and 
bringing into oeing the "Octra" orchestra. Under the 
distinguished leadership of Mr. Ludlow, this refined body 
of instrumentalists, besides arranging one of the Sunday 
evening concerts, has on several occasions provided welcome relief 
from the well-meant but depressing efforts of the theatre orchestra. 
At the aforementioned concert, the contributions of the "Octra" 
were interspersed with pianoforte solos by Mr. Norman Hewitt, 
whose rendering of pieces by Brahms and Chopin displayed 
refined taste and technical fluency, if leaving something to be 
desired on the score of rhythm. 


THE first three Monday evenings of the above Society's current 
season were devoted to music. Mr. Short, in his two papers 
on Chamber Music, managed to give a fairly comprehensive survey 


of the development of this branch of the art from its infancy 
down to tlie present time. The examples were well chosen to 
illustrate this development, although it is unfortunate that circum- 
stances forbade the inclusion of any modern English, French 
or Russian works. Acknowledgment should be made of the 
readiness and skill with which Mr. Cossart undertook, at a few 
hours' notice, the important pianoforte part in the first movement 
of Tschaikowsky's unsatisfactory Trio in A minor. 

The Hugo Wolf evening will assuredly remain one of the 
bright memories of our Ruhleben existence. Mr. Bocquet's paper, 
brilliant, witty, and at times — as when dealing with the tragedy 
of Wolf's illness and death — quite moving, charmed even those 
who were unable to agree with some of his more sweeping 
conclusions: and the performance of a number of Wolf's most 
beautiful songs by Mr. Edward Bonhote and Mr. Charles Weber, 
accompanied by Mr. Bocquet with that insight and sympathy 
which denote the true artist, was an artistic pleasure of the highest 
order. The A. and S. U. is to be complimented on the arrangement 
of evenings of this character, which give a large number of keen 
music-lovers the opportunity of enjoying works of a type which, 
for many reasons, can only realty be represented in the programmes 
of the Sunday evening concerts. B. J. D. 


THE ONE. — "What's yours; a Lager?" 

THE OTHER {late of Ruhleben.) Not much! No more Lagers for me. 




















Aaswecs io Correspondents. | 

Matrimonial etc. 

Elastic wants to know if it is true that the gentleman who looks after 

the maps on the Promenade is guilty of stretching a point 

occasionally. — We can only recommend our correspondent to 

get a microscope and see. 
Fed up wants to know if suspended animation is the same thing as 

animated suspension. — We are in the same difficulty ourselves. 
Pedestrian asks if golf is a sport or a disease. — It is a religion. 
A. Whag writes asking if we could make a joke about the "Ruhleben 

boxers being descended from the ancient Hittites." — No, we 

could not. 
Inquirer. — We hear that the feast of unelevened bread will be held 

as usual this year in Barrack 6. 
A. Hearsay. — We understand your feeling grateful to the prompter 

for his timely help, but it is not usual to express thanks audibly 

on these occasions. 
Scorned beef. — There is nothing to be scornful about. The stringy 

parts are useful anyway. 
Cadet (Bar. 22) seeks information as to smoking ham. — At your age 

you had better stick to Woodbines. 
Collector. — Your specimen, "Toby jugged", does not interest us. 
Querist would like to know the meaning of "original copy". — So 

should we. 
George Washington writes:— "I have never been so happy in my life 

as 1 am now". — Are you quite sure your name is George 

Adonis wants to know "if we would like him drawn". — We should 

like you not only drawn, but quartered. 


(The proprietor of Old Moore's Almanac favours us with the following 

exclusive information.) 

ABSOLUTE certainty have I none, 
But my aunt's charwoman's sister's son 
Heard a policeman on his beat 
Say to a housemaid (in Downing Street), 
That he had a brother, who had a friend, 
Who knew the date when the War will end! 




■BSmI nMhJ 

■ .'■■/•i ..-.■ ■■■'•■■" 




I F you listen to my story, you'll appreciate the glory, 
* Of the wondrous institution where we pass our time away; 
Where the sacred lamp of Learning is perpetually burning, 
And we have no time for anything throughout the livelong day. 

I was once an ignoramus, and for dullness I was famous, 
Biut I now am skilled in everything conceivable to man ; 
I can teach you hydrostatics, and the causes of rheumatics, 
And I know the right tobacco for the patent pipes of Pan. 

Any question^ I can settle re Mount Popocatepetl 

For in matters geographical my learning is profound; 

I'll discuss the art of Venice, and dramatic pose at tennis, 

Or I'll tell you why a square meal always 1 makes a rnan feel round. 

-I'll explain the ancient teaser of why Julius did seize her, 
For my talents now are limitless, mysterious and strange ; 
And although its Ipast believing, I maintain (without deceiving, 
At the water-ticket office I'll succeed in igetting change. 

I can hold a conversation with the men of any nation, 
From the frozen polar regions to the equatorial belt; 
I'll crack jokes in old Egyptian, of a popular description, 
And tell limericks in the .language of the pre-historic Kelt. 

My total sum of knowledge is beyond the scope of colleges, 
But still there dwells within my mind one solitary doubt! — 
For though no lack of will it is, my wondrous capabilities 
Have failed to end my sojourn here and get me safely out! 

S. E. J. 

■ \ 









1 H y. 





THE old time argument which has occupied the minds of football 
enthusiasts at home for years and years, as to which is the 
better for the game in general, the League system, or the Non- 
League system, has as a matter of course, cropped up in Run- 
leben. Many people here maintain that the League games create 
a spirit which often oversteps the bounds of friendly rivalry, 
and makes men indulge in "win at any price" tactics. I do not 
intend to raise any discussion on this point, but only to suggest 
that in the great majority of instances the League idea is much 
preferable to the other. There must /be an incentive in every 
game, as in everything else. In sport the incentive is not soley 
confined to the actual players; it pervades the spectators also. 
The circumstances which have led to the onlookers having to be 
taken into account so much we are not concerned with. Spectators 
are unquestionably as much a part of the game as the players, 
and must therefore be taken into consideration. This point granted, 
it becomes necessary to provide games in which spectators know, 
or believe the players are striving with every atom of their skill 
and energy to gain "something". And according to the League 
system that "something" is represented by the awarding of points, 
and whatever joy there is in leading your opponents in the 
League. The Non-League games are pleasant, sometimes amusing; 
but in the main they fail to develop the science of the play and are 
of little or no interest to spectators. That the League brings out 
an unsporting instinct in men can be dismissed with a word. Men 
who "play the game" will do so, (whatever the contest and whatever 
the prize. And Ivice versa. 

Those who imagined there would be a decrease in the 
interest of the jgame in Camp this season have already been proved 
quite wrong. Of course the glorious weather has brought many to 
the matches ; but even allowing for this there appears to be as 
lively an interest as in the two previous seasons. Thanks to the 
efforts of Sam Coles, George Page, and Ted Hearn, and other 
good helpers the ground would have done credit to many a club 
at home, outside the two or three important Leagues, when the 
third season opened on October 7 th. As before, a representative 
match was provided, the teams being: Cameron's XI. — Still, 
Lithgow, Miller, Treseder, Dugdale, Quinn, Pentland, Cameron, 
Owen, Harris, Slade. Brearley's XL — Nichol, Hall, Stewart, Lamb, 
Brearley, Hartley, Wright, Garden, Burnhill, Perry, Wilson, Result, 
Cameron's XI 4, [Brearley's 1 XI 2. On October 13 th a representative 
game composed lof players from the second division took place. 
The teams chosen were as follows: — Licence, Curry, Lustgarten, 
McLarnan, Leek, Gale, Coles, Warren, Scott, Poingfurst and Kitson; 





McDonald, Brindley, Begg, 'Allen, May, Thompson, Ferguson, Bell, 
Sim cock, Maurice and Moon. The latter team won after a splendid 
contest by 3 — 1. 

The League matches (commenced on October 14 th'. As was 
expected, Barrack 9, the champions of the previous season, are 
easily the best team in the Camp, and it will be a huge surprise 
if any other Barrack lowers their colours during the present 
campaign. They are strong in every position and with Sam Wolsten- 
holme's brilliant play and masterly tuition, (they are, and deserve 
to be, the outstanding team 1 . All the other Barracks are much on 
a level, Barrack 2 "the surprise team" (they only beat the good 
'uns) keep plodding along. When they get a point, or perhaps 
win, everyone is delighted, and if they don't, well, everybody 
is happy just the same. They are Spring horses, on last season's 
form, so we must all look out in the second half /of the League. 
Barrack 3 have r a fine side. In my opinion they are the fastest 
team, in the Camp. All their arguments are now things of the 
past and they all play like one man. Kitchen is one of the most 
improved forwards we have, and is a thorn in the side of every 
team 1 Barrack 3 'play against. Given ordinary luck I fully expect 3 
to be very near 9 for the championship. Barrack 4 are a funny 
team 1 . One day fthey play grandly, and then again poorly. Kelly 
has made great strides as a full back, and bids fair to improve 
still more as he plays better every game. Charnley too has shown 
us some of the brilliant play he gave us in the first season. Hall 
is a /marvel of consistency and with John Brearley, with his tireless 
energy and great ability make 4 a team always to be feared. 
Barrack 5 is "the puzzle team". With the good side they already 
had, and the acquisition of Garden and Hartmann great things were 
expected of them. Nearly every one of their men is good enough 
for any representative match in Ruhleben, and yet as a team they 
soldom come up to expectation. If ever they do find the secret 
of combination it will be a bad play for their opponents. Barrack 20 
through their having joined up with 17 and thereby securing several 
good players, were credited with having a team almost equal to 
that of Barrack 9. They certainly have a fine team, but have 
hardly fulfilled the great hopes we had <of them. Smallshaw is now 
playing in his best form and that means he is performing grandly. 
The brothers Wright pre tfine players iand ( are (wonderfully consistent. 
Barrack 7 had some difficulty in raising two teams in the 
beginning, but they put their shoulders to the wheel and helped 
Hartley to such an extent that they mow have a fine eleven. 
Heath has come back to the best form of his Barrack 1 days, 
and every man plays in such a keen who!e -hearted manner that 
they deserve all the success that comes their way. Barrack 8 
are not quite as formidable as last season. This is somewhat hard 
to explain, as they have practically the same men. The players 
are good and keen enough, but the old story of lack <of combination 
is probably the secret of the whole affair. Barrack 10, at the 
time of writing, have won 4 matches and lost 1. This looks good 
form, but to use a "Ruhlebenism" their "jam has been in" in 
one or two of their wins. Nevertheless 10 is a tealm everyone likes 
,to see do well. Hill is developing into a splendid goalkeeper; 
Lamb, like good wine, improves with age. John Cameron has 
been missed, as several of the players <have told me. This is with 
every atom of due regard to whoever iplays in Cameron's position. 
My reference is not so much from the playing standpoint, but 


from the point fpf his wonderful coaching abilities. If he is at 
home when these notes appear in print we know he will drink a 
toast to our speedy release, and to our keeping our peckers 
up until that good time comes. Barrack 11 are unfortunate in 
lacking the services of Bodin and Bloomer, through injuries. With 
them in our team, we should probably give the best of the others 
a good fight. Coulthard is proving a rare find in goal. Slater has 
no doubt found his proper position at right full back and has 
no superior in the Camp. A. Mills is a huge help in being able 
to fill practically any position, and always well. Barrack 22 (the 
Boys' team of last season) have fully justified their coming into 
the first League and will no doubt finish in a respectable place. 
Their full backs play wonderfully well for their age and if ;hey 
show the same steady improvement, Johnson and Woodliffe will 
probably be heard of later on in English football, 


WE have to record a visit from Bishop Bury, whose diocese 
in peace time includes Northern and Central Europe. 
His Lordship's stay among us was too brief to allow of his 
obtaining anything more than a glimpse of the Lager, but 
during the short time at his disposal the Bishop saw a number 
of the interned and delivered addresses, which attracted very 
large audiences to the Y. M. C. A. 




^TT'!'!* '. 1 . ■ ' ■ ■ ' . ' ■ '. ' . ' ■ ' ■ ' . ' . ' , ' ■ . ' ■ ■ '. . ' . ' .'■ ■. ' . ■ '! ■ ' ■■ ' .'. ' ' ■■ ' .. '." 


The Renowned Resort for Restful Relaxation. 


<4 © A plSasure boat. b. one of the one sva/ans.. 




sea level! ideally, situated, private golf course . -winter .gardens in course of 
construction . english chefs. uniformed nk3ht porters . no foreign waiters . cooks 




The Editor takes this opportunity to thank all those 
contributors whose work has appeared in the pages of 
"The Ruhleben Camp Magazine". 

ARTISTS. — Messieurs /. 0. Beeston, A. Brown, 

A. E. Cusden, H. Egremont, F. Glucfy, Healey Hislop, 
C. M. Horsfall, F. Jepson, E. J. Johnson, F. Kremnitz, 
H. M. Mist, W. O'S. Moloney, H. B. Molyneaux, A. Rose, 
G. Tooby, F. Wade, Robert Walker, C. M. A. Whitehouse, 
C. F. W Inzer. 

WRITERS. - Messieurs R. G. L. Barrett, T. A. Barton, 

B. J. Dale, P. Elies, T. Govett, S. E. Jefferson, H. Miller, 
G. H. Morrison, G. Pacfye, Pemberton, F. B. Pentland, 
A. G Ponsonby, F. C. Reynolds, E. D. Ripley, J. H. Saunders, 
L. P. Warner, Moresby White, C. M. A. Whitehouse. 

The voluntary work which has been performed by 
the different Barrack salesmen has been of the greatest 
value and the Editor desires to express his gratitude to 
these gentlemen for their invaluable assistance. 

A number of gentlemen have undertaken the task 
of addressing the envelopes necessary for the dispatch of 
this number to different parts of the world. The thanks 
of the whole Camp are due to these helpers. 


■ ^M ■_ ,'•'■■ 






jj»- NOT LATER THAN 3871 . ""W^ 






marks aweek 

\>y signing Relief Slips. 
lfi& So «fc~^ r 






Qublect todeposit&satis/actoiy 
J references) 

Etc, Etc. 










APPLY (Bepreitis i®o late) 


(always on the premises .) 



75 J'ortycf'ivers ! 

jheffeles of Polite Society explained in- 

when not to use a hivfe at Table 

wrjte ETIQUETTE^ R.C.M. 







WRITE :— . * 


J. S. PREUSS, Printer by Appointment to the Royal Court, Berlin S., Dresdenerstr. 43 

8 ;Wv .,%;> 



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